I went to briefly visit the author ofSerpent Box. On my way back home I had the urge to use a restroom. I stopped at a busy intersection in a strip mall and ran into buy dinner at a popular fast food establishment. Inside seating was closed and the hallway to the bathroom blocked off with all the tables and chairs.
I asked the cashier if I could please use the bathroom, I still had an hour drive home and I wasn’t going to make it. She, of course said, “No.” The patron behind me suggested I go to the corner BBQ store-they might allow me to use their bathroom. I walked across the way to the family owned business.
A “kind woman” was exiting. She held the door for me and said “Go on in, honey.” However, I noticed a sign taped to the door saying “NO BATHROOM.” So I kindly asked, “If I buy something can I please use your restroom?”
Well, did she ever turn on THAT dime.
Voice raised she excitedly exclaimed, “No, no! There’s a paaaaan-demic, a paaaaan-demic I tell you! It’s all over, it’s everywhere! It’s serious! No, you CAN NOT use the bathroom.”
A bit stunned I muffled from under my mask “Yes, I know there’s a pandemic.” I started explaining that I had an hour drive home and she interrupted me…
“There’s a paaaan-demic! A paaaan-demic I tell you! It’s serious!! You gots to go before you leave home!!”
Stunned again, my dukes were up and I wanted to explain that I’m a 56 yr old woman who has raised 4 kids, and I’m a teacher and I know ALL about “going before you leave home.” My dukes were UP and my blood was about to boil…and yet I was at her mercy.
That’s when the peacemaker stepped in. She had been standing there all along, nearly invisible.
The Peacemaker said “What? You need the restroom?” and the “kind woman” who turned on the dime shouted “Yes, but there’s a paaaaan-demic, a paaaaan-demic I tell you! It’s serious!!” and the Peacemaker in a lower voice said, “If it’s so serious, then why are you the only one not wearing a mask?”
My dukes were still up, and I thought…’nice hook! Now lemme give her an undercut!”
But the “kind woman” took a breath and started on the defense with a list of excuses and instead of delivering another hard jab, the Peacemaker, even more softly said…”Ok, ok, but you gotta say it nicer. You just gotta say it nicer.”
I wish the author of theSerpent Box had been with me because he would have taken a very poignant photograph of the Peacemaker’s light. What I have is her memory etched in my brain. She helped me solve my little issue after that.
Wishing you all health, happiness, peace and better in 2022. Here is a poem I wrote many moons ago. I would, of course, LOVE to hear how it touches you. The photo is available in my ETSY store.
photo by, Marisa Salisbury
THE OPERA
BY, Marisa Salisbury
The crickets chirp, raising to soprano crescendo
Enter the birds in harmonious song
Their beating wings and fluttering feathers
Like soft percussion of the timpani
The frogs croaking in baritone splendor
As a soft
Breeze
Whistles in through reeds and branches
Her soft song of love,
Of patience
To awaken the tenor
Like a bear rising from his winter slumber
He raises his arms
Turns to the audience of a redwood forest
And bellows his notes
Then…
Silence
Slowly, all turn to face the east
As the sun BURSTS through the sky like a crashing symbol
Have you tried taking financial advice from successful millionaires and billionaires? I have. Have any of their strategies worked? Not really for me. I mean I’m not a millionaire or billionaire afterall. Also, just like exercising regularly, I don’t stick with it. I thought ‘Well, she/he’s a millionaire, they must be able to tell me something so that I can be a millionaire too.’ I don’t mean to bad mouth anyone. Honestly, it’s me. I’m a bit inconsistent and self deprecating. I’m not competitive and so when the financial going gets tough, I tend to hide in a cave and tone it down a notch rather than “get going” like a tough guy.
Some of these millionaire programs first ask to fork out money. It’s either for a membership to their exclusive club in which they will divulge all their strategies. Or money for their program. Something that I had to pay for in order to get some advice for getting on track. But I just needed to get on track. I wasn’t in a head space to become a millionaire or billionaire. I needed to get back on track.
Soooo, have you ever tried taking financial advice from a dummy? I did, a couple of years ago. And I learned more from those people for free. I’m not great with money but I have learned from people who were worse than I was. I’ve learned from people who are better than me too. I learned from both types. And they weren’t millionaires. Both made me realize things about myself. Habits I had, GOOD ONES, and bad ones. Boundaries I had and habits and boundaries that I needed to create.
Hello, dummy! It takes one to know one. OK, you don’t really know me, but trust me, I’m a dummy.
I want to share with you some simple and FREE habits and strategies I have been practicing over the past 2 years which have helped me lower my anxiety on payday AND turn myself around to controlling my money instead of it controlling me.
In this article I want to share just one. The first and single most simple habit I have been practicing that helped me start controlling my money within 3 months. KNOWLEDGE is power. I honestly had very little knowledge about what my money was doing and where it was being spent. I just knew that I didn’t have enough and before the month was over, my money was gone and I was eating peanut butter from the jar and bundling up at home instead of running the heat.
You’ve heard of the straw that broke the camel’s back? Well this camel’s back was broken many times. Cue the music “I get knocked down, but I get up again, they’re never gonna keep me down.”
One of my mantras is to be like the palm tree. Bending with the storm then bouncing back unbroken. In 2018, however, another straw broke the camel’s back again and this time I filed for divorce. This left me in over my head in debt because when he moved out, I then had to pay for everything. I wasn’t sure I made enough to do that but I thought maybe I did? And this is why I need to control my money. He was out of the picture and couldn’t control nor influence any of my finances so, that was good. I had only myself to rely on. There was no one and nothing else going on behind my back. That made things more manageable.
I’m a teacher. I have a good, secure job and good pay. My pay was not impacted at all during the COVID lockdown so I have that going for me. In fact, conducting distance learning from home freed up over $300 month for me because I was working at a school one hour from my home. The gas alone was a savings for me. I know the gas was this much because of the habit I’m about to share with you now.
STEP #1
TRACKING YOUR MONEY
I have been calling it this up until a couple of months ago when I discovered that the Japanese call it keikebo. Not only is that a way cooler name but I was pleasantly surprised to make a connection with the ancients. Once again, the reason I began this blog is to share ways in which we are all interconnected in every way possible. So I’ve been calling it keikebo ever since.
When I ventured out on my own in 2018 my mortgage was about ¾ of my salary. That left me only ¼ of my salary to pay my monthly bills and then- well then-I just went on with a wing and a prayer that the money would stretch to the end of the month. Because I was a dummy.
There were other strategies and practices which I also started. I am working on another blog post to share those with you. Here, today, I want to share the very FIRST step I took toward controlling my money and gaining KNOWLEDGE. And we all know that KNOWLEDGE is POWER.
Tracking all my spending immediately lead me to becoming more mindful of the number of stops I was making to spend my money. I actually LISTENED to the cashiers when they told me the total. I had a conscious thought…”hmmm, that seems high for just these things.” or “oh, that’s not too much, I thought it would be more.” Does this happen to you? We are not alone. I have a friend who had bought a few groceries which included 2 loaves of challah bread and the cashier errantly rang her up for 63 loaves and she blindly just paid it and walked out without noticing until she got home! I know there have been PLENTY of times I’ve gotten to my car completely oblivious to what my grocery bill was just moments before. I just slide my card like a zombie without even listening or thinking. It’s that numbing mindset that “Well, I need food and groceries so I just pay whatever they say to pay. It’s not like this is something I can control.” But that is WRONG. KNOWLEDGE is power. KNOWING what you are spending is the first baby step to take control and change (if change is needed.)
This practice made me a little anxious. But not so much that I didn’t want to continue. It caused me just enough anxiety that I avoided stopping for many days. I tried to see how long I could go without spending any money. Not stopping on a whim made me store up and stop 2-3 places on one day instead of stopping to spend money every day. Storing up made me think more about what I needed to buy and thus shop with more of a shopping list and more of a purpose. Shopping with a list and purpose cut down on my spending.
Here’s all you need.
1- A pocket calendar/planner from the Dollar Store.
2- A notebook-also from the Dollar Store OR a digital spread sheet (here’s a free download)
The Pocket Calendar:
Go to the Dollar Store and buy a small pocket planner. Don’t spend a lot of money on anything cute or fancy. Do pick an available color that tickles your fancy. Something that is joyful and pops out, so you always know where it is. (Last year I used red because it’s my favorite color. This year I chose this color that reminds me of the sea.) Put it where it will always be handy.
I keep mine in the center console of my car. (During COVID lockdown this didn’t work well because I did way more buying on line.) So, please find a place that makes entering your receipts seamless. If you’re a dummy like me, you will skip entering expenditures if this planner (rebranded Keikebo) is not at your finger tips at the right time. Full disclosure, I still miss entering my online purchases. I am finding that I only catch them at the end of the month when I complete step #2.
You are going to enter EVERY RECEIPT you get. Just jot it down on the date and categorize it. Is it for groceries, a gift, gas, clothing, etc? Then throw away the receipt (unless you think you’re going to need it later.) When the cashier asks you “Do you want the receipt printed or emailed? In the bag or in your hand?” The answers are “PRINTED PLEASE” and “in my hand. “
Now, I will give you the choice. Choice #1- With receipt still in hand, you either enter it in your keikebo before you put the key in the ignition OR Choice #2- put it in the planner and drive off. When you get home, you do not get out of the car until you enter all your receipts (even if it’s just one) into your keikebo. Then throw away the receipt(s).
That’s it.
Baby step #1.
Here are some random pages from my very simple keikebo. It shows how I have consolidated my spending days.
Before you go on to step #2, now is a good time to take a break from reading and either contemplate what I’ve written and/or watch this interesting youtube video about the concept of Keikebo. I really liked it. It reinforced what I had been doing for about two years. My savings came naturally without any goals, but I will write about that in a later post.
STEP #2
The Ledger/Spread sheet
I use Google sheets but you can use a notebook or Microsoft spreadsheets.
Again, nothing fancy. Any plain notebook will do. I have provided a free digital download for you. (Please free to contact me if you need steps to duplicating pages at the bottom and renaming them. It’s a simple right click on your mouse pad and readily available information on Google help, but, I’m always glad to hear from you.)
My sister was my accountability partner on this. In fact it was her idea. Do you have someone you can trust to hold you to making this a constant habit?
Full disclosure here. My sister told me about this and how it helped her. She sent me a sample blank spreadsheet. She encouraged me to do it for me, that she had no interest in knowing my specific finances and had no intentions of judging me, she didn’t want the numbers. She just wanted me to do it so that I myself had the numbers. I couldn’t (and wouldn’t) have done it without her. She asked when I would be starting it and when she could expect a copy or notification that I did it. I gave her something like 3 weeks because she was very persistent. Well, 4 weeks later, I had a voicemail from her saying-this is pretty much a direct quote- “Marisa, this is your sister. I’m calling because you said you’d have this ledger going after 3 weeks and it has been 4 weeks. I haven’t received anything from you showing that you started it. You are the one who said you’d be starting it. I’m just calling to check to see if you did what you said you were going to do. It’s for you after all, not me. You are the one who said you needed to get control. I’m just calling to find out if you are doing that.” Do you have someone in your life who can be direct like that? Why not give them this exact script so they can remind and encourage you?
I remember one of the months I got lazy with it and started stressing about backtracking to fill in the prior month when I was well into the current month. At the beginning, I did it for 1-2 months, then skipped and got sloppy about entering receipts. My anxiety rose as I thought about the daunting task of going back and filling in the month I skipped. And then what would I tell my sister and accountability partner?! When I told her I was behind she graciously said ‘fuggetaboutit.’ Forget about backtracking. Just give yourself grace, you’re new at this, just forget last month and pick it back up THIS month. Forget it. Don’t bother.
If you try this simple habit and in the beginning neglect it, advice from this dummy is to just get back on track with the current month. Keep going forward and don’t look back. Just keep moving forward.
After about 6-7 months this was a part of my life, #1) a daily routine of entering every receipt into my keikebo and #2) a monthly routine of transferring everything from my keikebo into the ledger. (I get paid once a month and this financial stuff-right up there with exercising regularly-is not my favorite adulting responsibility, so I have always balanced check books and paid bills only once a month.)
After a few months of entering the category totals I cringed at the amount I was spending on groceries. I tried to cut back a little more the following month but it still came out about the same. With about 5 consistent months in my ledger, I asked around. I asked a bunch of friends how much they spend on groceries. Guess what. Not ONE single ONE of them had any idea. Pat on the back for me! I felt like I was a step ahead of a bunch of people in this game. That was exciting!
Since my friends were no help, I looked at some of my habits. One thing I noticed was that I had a lot of containers with left overs and was throwing out a lot of food that had gone bad in the fridge. I was cooking for just my son and me. Turns out not only was I was cooking too much food for just us but in working hard to maintain normalcy for my son by cooking new meals every day I hadn’t factored in this new routine of custody. Often I would make a new meal when there was a refrigerator full of leftovers and then he’d be gone for a few days. I changed that habit. I made sure I cooked bigger meals on the day he came home and I became better and disguising leftovers or using leftovers in a completely different way. I became a better meal planner all ‘round.
It has been two and a half years now and this one baby step quickly lead to a few others simple changes which I will write about next month. Since I keep every month in the bottom tabs of the google spreadsheet, it’s very easy to click on past months to see what I spent in different categories and compare. (For example, I can click on December 2020 and see just how much I spent on Christmas gifts last year. That gives me a ballpark for what I can expect this year.) Though I have made other changes (and one very significant one) the money I have left over AFTER paying my mortgage and bills has quadrupled. You heard that right, I have a growing savings account! I guess I can officially say that I’m not living paycheck to paycheck because I have money left over at the end of the month!
TIME & GRACE
Give yourself some love and time. Honestly, I was a hot mess at payday. I knew I needed a payday but my anxiety was also high so when my paycheck arrived instead of a sense of relief, I suddenly then got nervous. Why? Because I knew my money was controlling me instead of ME controlling my money. I knew I earned enough to pay all my bills but then I stressed about all the groceries and absolutely anything else that might come up during the month. Everything else was out of my control. Groceries, gas and incidentals. I just stayed on this step for over a year. I’m a dummy-I told you that in the title.
Would you do me a favor and share your ideas about this one strategy here in the comments? Could you also follow me on facebook and share this post with your own social media on instagram, twitter, facebook or elsewhere? Whether or not this is a helpful strategy for you, you never know who in your circle might benefit from this baby step.
UPDATE:
THIS selfie shows WHY you want to enter receipts daily. This pic ALSO shows why you want receipts in your hand and NOT in the bag! Here I said that I really don’t stop often nor spend money every day. This represents only about two weeks of receipts. Just look how they pile up! I have been a little lax this month entering receipts in my keikebo and instead have been shoving them into my wallet. As usual, I don’t even have any actual money in my wallet, just receipts.
I love the crisp cool air, the bright colored leaves are still turning and falling. My neighborhood being lit up with festive lights.
This can be a busy and frenetic time of year. Here are some traditions that help me actually slow down, take time to be intentional and notice the magic and beauty in life teeming all around me.
FINDING JESUS
As we unpack the boxes of Christmas decorations to deck these halls one very simple tradition is that in setting up the creche, the person who unwraps the baby Jesus gets to hide him. The general rule is that he has to be hidden in plain sight. Whoever finds the baby Jesus then quietly re-hides him. This sets up a sense of expectation. It’s a very simple way to remind us that Jesus is always hidden away in our hearts, that He is always around us waiting to be found. It’s a simple little tradition that packs a big punch. Often I have seen my son smile for no reason when he either notices that his hiding place has been found out or that he has found Jesus! Jesus has been on the ceiling fan, in the Christmas tree, perched on shelf or in a corner. He has been high and low and everywhere in between. My son is 13 now, he still isn’t tired of this hide and seek.
CHRISTMAS CARDS
This one is a BIG production. My mom is actually the most excited about it. I don’t get to this every year but it is fun and creative. I only make 50. I make rather elaborate handmade cards. It usually takes up the entire dining room table and I start right after Thanksgiving. If you are the creative type, why not use this as an outlet? I know very few people send Christmas cards any longer, so this is a more artistic way to put your craft out into the world.
ADVENT CALENDAR with a sort of TO DO list
I found this Advent calendar at Starbucks many years ago. The back is magnetic chalkboard and those are tins. Inside each tin I have placed two tiny pieces of paper. One is a random act of kindness. Depending on the ages in your family, you can search on google or pinterest for “25 days of Kindness Calendar.” There are many free ones, some to purchase. Why not do it ALL YEAR?! In any event, a few years ago I took the time to clip out all 25 and fit one inside each tin. The second thing in there is the daily dare from Ann Voskamp’s Joy Dare calendar. It is a free resource and something I try to stick to all year to keep me searching for the lovely things in life. By putting it in the advent calendar, it’s something I can share with my son. Of course I also put in a candy treat, just so my son will even open it! The tins are NEVER in order, which again, keep us searching for each day’s tin.
IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE
It isn’t Christmas without an annual viewing of the 1946 classic It’s a Wonderful Life. There is a beautiful old time vintage theater where I live that had an annual showing but I don’t see it on their calendar this year. It’s a beautiful restored venue with huge red velvet curtains, a very ornate ceiling and vintage marquis and tiny ticket booth in front. This year, it looks like we’ll be watching from the comfort of our own home.
EPIPHANY AND A DEEP HONORING BREATH
All the halls stay decked until January 6, the day of Epiphany or Day of Kings. Did you know that THESE are the 12 days of Christmas? The 12 days after Christmas. No way is ANY of it coming down before that. I love all the decorations and lights all over the neighborhood and I am in absolutely no hurry to take any of it down. So, when we do take it all down and pack it away. We hold hands, circle all the boxes and take some deep conscious breaths together. We consciously honor all the time we spent together, all the gifts, all the giving, all the food, wonder and awe. We give the season space and time to rest in our memories and hearts.
Do you have any unique traditions? What do you think of these? Are there any that resonated with you? Are there any that you think you might try this year? Please let me know in the comments below-I LOVE hearing from you.
I wish you a season full of wonder, peace and love.
Nevada City is known as a quaint old gold rush town in Northern California. It’s a little over one hour north of Sacramento. Many in this area know this place. It’s a hidden gem for sure. Today, though, I am not writing about this hidden gem. Today, I discovered a blood diamond among the gems.
This post will be written separate and independent of any other post I write about Nevada City in order to honor the beauty and importance of what I found today. Something that came close to being erased.
The Historian Ember
Today I met the Historian Ember. A humble spokesperson of the local Nisenan Tribe. A tribe which has not been erased in person, but on paper. Long have I looked at this world from another perspective; from the inside out, from the upside down, through a mirror instead of right at it.
The ‘disorienting’ timeline–a reason for YOU to go yourself, to read each panel
When introducing us to a timeline on the wall. Ember stated that it was ‘disorienting’ instead of ‘weird.’ This struck a chord with me because this year, I happen to be working to remove the word ‘weird’ from my vocabulary. She said it was disorienting because if you ask a Nisenan elder “How long have your people been here?” The answer would be ‘Since HERE has been here, we have been here.’ They cannot put a date on it.
The historian then mentioned ‘the devastating times.’
It was but a trickle to the upcoming hour long tour. A trickle which resulted in a floodgate of knowledge, history and hope washing over me in a small space and blip of time.
There are always two sides to every story.
I knew immediately that she was referring to the Gold Rush Era. The glorious Gold Rush Era–though fraught with disappointment and hardship for we white people– is taught as a time of dreamers with resilience, grit and ingenuity who finally met victory. I’m originally from NY. It was taught the same way to me when I was young. As a teacher in CA, it is still taught by those of us with this ingrained image of romanticism-though we know better now- and, for me, today was a pivotal catalyst to DO better.
The devastating times. A time when a certain greed swept these lands along with a selfish genocide of humans and raping of the land. The effects of which carry on to this day. Without spewing shame or blame, the Uba Seo Gallery along with the amazing knowledge spoken so much from the heart by Ember brings life to the light still burning.
After what sounded like more than one lifetime spent with Shelly, the Executive Director of the gallery, Ember walked us through a millennium within just a few square feet of space.
The spirit of forever is how I felt when I left.
For how long have you been here? Since forever ago.
And how long will you exist? Forever.
There was a Nisenan child born just last year. The Nisenan are here alive and among us.
On the left is a woven basket created by the great grandmother of Shelly (the executive director of the Uba Seo Gallery). On the right is a glass artist’s replica created for the annual Visibility Through Art project.
Like many of us humans, the woven basket, though old, torn and broken is still here and still treasured.
The Nisenan People were erased on paper. Terminated. That is the term used by the US government. Many tribes were ‘terminated’ from existence by government orders. It wasn’t until the early 1970s under President Nixon that this practice of “termination” was ended. And yet, there was no reversal or restoration. Just an end to the practice of “termination.” At that time, tribes who had been ‘terminated’ could begin a process of applying for restoration. As we see, some were. This is why they have a reservation separate and sovereign from US territory. The Nisenan, however, have not been granted that status yet. The Nisenan are being told that they are not eligible to be restored due to an expiration of a statute of limitations.
Ember acted as our tour guide from the beginning, through the devastating times of the 1850s, through the language, culture, politics, architecture and art. She unhesitatingly fielded every question the audience of about 25 offered. There was a Nisenan child born just last year. I know this because one of the audience questions was “How many Nisenan make up the tribe today?” Ember not only knew that it was 145 but also knew that the youngest child is about 1 ½ yrs old. At the end, I already wanted to hug her when she said “I’m not a historian.” I interrupted, and erupted with “Oh yes you are!” Which created a well deserved applause from the intimate audience.
Please consider taking time from your busy holiday by visiting Uba Seo Gallery. Check out their short operating hours here.
Here’s a travel tip from me to you. If you can’t make it to one of Ember’s tours, then consider a virtual tour beforehand by following these QR codes which I photographed throughout the exhibit. Then head out there and see some of the exhibit pieces on your own. You will be glad that you self educated beforehand.
EVEN MORE virtual information connected with this diamond!
This post is absolutely NO REPLACEMENT for touring the gallery in person. There is a wealth of information and beautiful spirit emanating from the space. I can not do it justice nor replicate that which must be felt rather than spoken or written.
Please let me know what you know about the Nisenan or other tribes. Let me know what you learned or were reminded of by this post and the links shared. If you manage to make it to the Uba Seo Gallery, I would LOVE to hear about your experience in the comments below.
Thanksgiving has long been a bit precarious for this place I call home. For 30+ years now I have lived on the other side of the country from my parents and siblings. Traveling “home” to the other coast for the major Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays became a real hassle. So sometimes I get melancholy thinking that all my local friends have family nearby to visit while I didn’t–it was just us, our blended family with no aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. It was a struggle to make these family holidays my own when I much wanted to be with my parents and siblings sharing the responsibilities of cooking and spending time together. Creating a blended family often left me feeling left out. So I have spent decades learning to embrace our uniqueness and making creative heartfelt collections of unique traditions. (Is that an oxymoron?)
I want to share with you some of the things that have been incorporated into the lives of my family.
The DINNER
Order up!!
This is something I cooked up quite some years ago (pun intended.) When I was part of a blended household and kids were coming and going on odd vs. even years and at certain times on Thanksgiving Day…I could barely keep it all straight. And so, one year, I decided to embrace our uniqueness and declare favorite dishes. Everyone gets to place their order for something on the table. Anything. One year, the stepsons really tested this out and we had 4 kinds of meat on the table. Sure we always have a turkey, but I also want duck. We have had my famous mac n’ cheese, ribs, acorn squash, artichokes (out of season) , fried rice specifically from the Chinese restaurant up the street. You name it! I’m sure at some point someone ordered it and it was on the table. (Hint: as the chef you don’t have to have a family sized dish of an item. Some dishes no one will eat except the person ordering it, so, for example just one acorn squash is enough. Also, ask about 2 weeks in advance. Some kids want to think about it and it gives you time to shop for ingredients.)
The “GIVING”
The day after Thanksgiving we have all the kids do a rather hefty clearing out. They go through all the toys they either don’t really play with any longer or are ready to give up. They know Christmas is just around the corner. So all the toys that are broken we get rid of but the ones that are slightly used, unused and really in decent condition we box up and put on the hearth. The tradition goes that on the night after Thanksgiving Santa comes down the chimney to collect all unwanted toys. He brings them back to the North Pole for inspection and repair and then on Christmas Day delivers them to children around the world who are thrilled to have them.
I found my kids were always quite generous and honest. They played a part in sifting through their toys, making important decisions, letting go and doing good in the world by giving. There were times they surprised me by saying that some one could use a certain toy more than they. Or keeping a toy because it was something that my sister had given and it reminded them of her. ( A child as young as 5 can do this!)
The THANKS
Make a thankful collage.
Materials:
Butcher paper & tape
Markers
Old magazines
glue sticks
scissors
Are you going to have several kids around? Here’s a great idea to keep them working together on a creative project for a while. Tape butcher paper to walls for each kid. Have older kids help younger kids trace an outline of themselves. Have kids title it “I am thankful for…” and then have them draw in their outline/silhouette with them wearing their favorite outfit. Draw and cut out from magazines some things for which they are grateful.
All cousins and grandkids can take them home when they leave. It’s a great reminder for them and they can even add to it throughout the year. I would like to think they’d hang it on their bedroom wall.
The BLESSING
Every year, no matter where we are, I read this excerpt of Abraham Lincoln’s proclamation.
Some years I add a word or two here and there to bring poignancy to just how much it correlates to our current events and to bring folks back in. Beside me choking up absolutely every year, there is usually at least one other tear jerker in the house when they hear it. If I can plant a seed and bring someone to a point of inspiration and true appreciation, I consider that a GREAT day. Luckily I have Abe on my side to assist.
A Holiday Movie
I know….really commercial right?! The truth is, I really don’t enjoy going to the movie theaters to watch movies. Honestly, I critique them too much to enjoy them. I think they are overpriced and the ridiculous amount of money that goes into them honestly, I find a little sickening. Hollywood so rarely meets my expectations that it’s not really ‘entertaining’ for me. Sure, I go, once in a while but it’s just not my jam. Sure I watch the movies years later on Netflix and I like them alright, even better than I would have had I paid $15 at a theater back when it was popular and ‘everyone else’ was going to see it.
However, the feel good brightly colored family friendly movies that are released on Thanksgiving and Christmas day every year. YEP! I love going to those. If not right on Thanksgiving day then the next day…you know after the kids have finished with “the giving.”
What are some of your favorite memories or traditions for Thanksgiving?
“Neither charity nor pity…but a normal life like normal people…with the independence to come and go as I please.” -Morris Frank
What? NJ is not in my backyard! True. My parents live in Morristown and in THEIR backyard are several gems. The Seeing Eye is the ‘grande dame’ of them all.
Of course, iconic locations such as the Statue of Liberty (and Manhattan as a whole) are REQUIRED tourist attractions. How many of us head to see family out of state for visits and twiddle our thumbs looking for things to do once we get there? During this pandemic, how many of you are looking for things to do in your own backyard? My advice–not that you asked for it– think like a tourist.
A couple of years ago, there was one year I had more people come visit me than usual. I took each and every one of them to the Golden Gate Bridge. It became “my jam.” It’s about 2 hours from my home but…to them, it was a stunning, memorable icon of US attractions. I think I went to the GGB about 5 times that year. I did not tire of it, neah! Instead, I was a better and better hostess each time I took the next houseguest! Each houseguest was a little different, each time I learned new avenues and new history and new things. I learned and THEY were THRILLED! By the 5th or 6th houseguest, I showed the GGB like a pro! But I digress….
So, Morristown has a few gems. The Seeing Eye campus is one of them! If you are ever anywhere even NEAR Morristown, NJ PLEASE try to plan a Thursday visit. It’s something you will walk away thinking you have learned something new that you didn’t know you didn’t know.
Located at 10 Washington Valley Rd. (less than 1 hr from the GW Bridge out of Manhattan) in the rural part of Morristown. Morristown has a city center like many other small cities however, it extends far beyond the center into a very rural area with what I would call ‘sprawling’ homes and old estates and even older converted farm houses. So, if you are going to visit The Seeing Eye, there are plenty of places to eat, shop, gawk and daydream as you drive down long winding country roads. Park just about anywhere along the way and enter the 90 mile Patriot’s Path for a lovely (and EASY) hike or jog or picnic in nature.
OK…THAT’S Morristown…
The Seeing Eye.
What I knew going in was that dog trainers (and their trainees!) are seen all over Morristown city center. I also saw from passing it on the way to my parents’ house that the headquarters is quite large. So I googled it–60 acres! Ok, that’s a lot of land! …why so much? I’m a scientist at heart too and scientists always start with a question. I wondered what went on in this complex that utilized 60 acres?! Inquiring minds want to know. So on one visit to my parents’ we called and reserved a spot on the weekly Thursday tour. My son is a veritable Dr. Doolittle and he was THRILLED throughout the entire tour. My parents who have lived in Morristown for close to 30 years–and my own mother who is a real bunny hugger–had never been so they too were enthralled with the time we spent there.
We met and convened in a conference room. A person who adopted a dog from The Seeing Eye gave a presentation. Then a trainer told her story as well as a brief history of the founders and the foundation. This part was quite brief, about 30 min. We then were given a tour of the facility and grounds and even MORE information was disseminated throughout the tour.
In 50 words or less. This place is a top rate, first class act. The dining facilities have linen tablecloths and napkins, shiny silver, open spaces. The grounds are beautiful and impeccably kept. That’s all surface stuff, sure, but at the heart and core of it is the deep seated commitment to DIGNITY. The entire campus emanates dignity. For that alone, I commend and applaud The Seeing Eye for carrying out the vision of its founders.
Top Five Stunning Facts:
All recipients of The Seeing Eye dogs only pay $150. Bam! That’s it! Airfare is even included! Recipients live on campus for a little over one month to acclimate to a dog, train and bond with it. The Seeing Eye is able to provide this because they thrive from a well managed endowment.
All veterans pay only $1. That’s it! BAM! BAM!!! If you or a veteran you know has impaired vision PLEASE spread the word!
Are you or someone you know losing vision? Interestingly enough, the woman who spoke to our group didn’t “look blind.” At the end of her presentation she addressed that. She said, “I know some of you are thinking that I don’t look like I’m blind.” (Talk about transparency!) Turns out she had gone blind over the past several years. She staved it off with denial for years and was hit by an electric car coming out of a driveway one day. After healing, she returned to her denial and again, walking down the street she was hit by another electric car. Turns out, electric cars make little to no noise, so she doesn’t HEAR them coming, they SEE her coming and assume she will stop and misunderstandings can be deadly. So after the 2nd incident, she contacted The Seeing Eye.
All other dogs are called Service Dogs. Only dogs from The Seeing Eye are called Seeing Eye dogs. They have trademarked the term.
To keep the breeds pure. The Seeing Eye breeds and trains all their own dogs. They don’t adopt from anywhere. They began with only German Shepherds and now include Golden Retrievers as well. These are the only 2 breeds they use.
BONUS FACT! Nearby families (within driving distance) can sign up as puppy trainers. This is an important part of the program because it’s important that puppies are loved and acclimated to human families at an early age. Maybe your family can adopt a puppy temporarily with a purpose! GREAT lesson for kids (of all ages!)
Do you want to read a little more about the history of The Seeing Eye before going? Read more about the founders Morris Frank and Dorothy Eustis.
Do you have a hidden gem in YOUR backyard? Maybe you’d like to write a guest post and tell us all about it here! (Send me an email or PM on FB.) Our globe is shrinking even more during this pandemic and you don’t know what folks around you don’t know!
Do you know of great places in Morristown to spend the night or have a meal? Do have experience with service dogs? Please comment or ASK AWAY below!
A response to the revolution which ignited after the George Floyd murder
Photo by Marisa Salisbury
There’s much talk about “what is my purpose in life.” We’ve all heard and used the term “the circle of life.” We all have unique purposes, yes. Based on our innate abilities, characteristics and personalities. Some we are born with, some formed throughout life. But dare I offer that we DO all have ONE common purpose in life. That purpose is to EVOLVE.
According to etymology online, EVOLVE comes from the Latin root EVOLVERE. It can mean to unroll or roll out. This makes me think of unfurl…though I am no Latin expert. As with books though, it could mean to develop.
EVOLVE showed up in the English language in the 1640s as a way to express unfolding or opening out. Surly when a flag is unfurled or unfolded it becomes airborne and majestic. When a FLAG is unfurled, THAT is when we all FEEL it’s honor, majesty and power of the country that it represents. And so it is with us…the members of the human race. For each and every one of us, it is our purpose and mission on this planet to unfurl and EVOLVE in a way that honors the humanity that WE REPRESENT. To show how majestic our humans are and how powerful we actually are. This truly is at the root of evolution.
DEVOLVE and devolution then would be the opposite. If any individual devolves then humanity doesn’t show so well. If a faction of society devolves en masse then a real problem can present itself. If neighboring or separately classified group of members of the human race devolve in their own special way, it sets a string of dysfunction across to OTHER factions of the planet. It sends our whole planet out of whack. It happens in families frequently and quickly. One spouse devolves, affecting all members of the nuclear family (and sometimes beyond.) Destroying the nucleus of the family and WORSE –the children in that family who then can not evolve as is their SOLE PURPOSE on Earth.
REVOLVE and revolution, I offer, is the only way to push back to the healthy path of EVOLUTION. Set the planet RIGHT and back on it’s course by starting with ONE’S SELF or beginning with one’s separate class of members of the human race. A REVOLUTION is the only way to return to our purpose of evolution and evolving.
And THIS is one description of “THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.” We have all set out to evolve, failed and gotten derailed (by myriad substances and people) but in our core we love and ARE loved and we get back up again in personal revolution in our lives. Round and round we go. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Don’t beat up your community over it. That would only continue the devolution. Instead, stare it in the face and start a revolution!
LOVE.
And you can’t spell EVOLVE without L O V E.
If you are being swept up in this current REVOLUTION are you getting back on course with LOVE? If you don’t know what to do or what to say, then STOP. Breathe in LOVE. Think on LOVE and THEN form your speech and your words. THEN act on the action you now see more clearly, in love.
Are you about to fight or rally against a revolution? Well, STOP. Breathe in love and breathe out what you will likely find is FEAR. You may see the rising revolution in a different light. You may see it in the light of love and you may consider that their impending revolution is being done in love in order to get back to their evolution. You may find that it is some OTHER class of members of the human race that have devolved causing a ripple effect or poison to spill over across the planet. The ones devolving may not even be aware of their own need for a revolution of their own.
A revolution that is based in love will gather others quickly, and in numbers far greater than the stars in the sky, to the revolution.
Once upon a time a beautiful male co-worker of mine told me that women, in general, are AMAZING. I wasn’t feeling amazing most of the time and when he said it, I thought ”What? Maybe the women YOU know but I’m not so amazing…you could ask a lot of people around me who know me or at least who spend a lot of time with me and they would give you the same puzzling response. Maybe SOME women…but not this one, not Marisa…she’s ok. But not AMAZING.”
Then I discovered Lectio Divina. And it has blown my mind and my spirit out of the physical confines of this mortal body. I see things, I see MYSELF in a wholly, holy and beautiful new light. It’s AMAZING.
When I wrote this, I was looking at my five year old son on a night he went to sleep as a 4 year old but woke up as a 5 year old. And I thought-in at least ONE sense–I AM, in fact, absolutely AMAZING.
We women can grow a human life inside of us and then have them surgically removed or expulsed from our bodies in THE MOST UNNATURAL WAY… a way that, quite frankly, is SOOO unnatural that our bodies writhe and convulse in confusion of fighting to hold on to that life or let it out into the light. Some women even die during the experience thus moving them from the realm of amazing into glory…I guess.
As if that’s not enough-once that human life is removed and separated from our bodies, though they adapt immediately to the atmosphere, they STILL cannot survive without us. So, we grow food and you would think one human being sucking food out of another would also diminish the capacity of the host…but nope-whenever they want, they just make a sound and instead of having the life sucked out of us, it’s more like THEY breathe life into US.
Then we teach them month after month how other human beings on this planet do things; live, become self-sustaining, communicate, have cognitive and spiritual processes. And before you know it, they are 5 times their original size and interacting on this planet just like all the other human beings.
And we act like nothing ever happened!! Like the little life we grew inside of us just magically appeared out of nowhere and we took care of it because we are “just nice people.”
Now, that is TRULY AMAZING. It’s beyond amazing…it is MUNIFICENT (adj. larger or more generous than is usual or necessary. Synonyms: bountiful, philanthropic, lavish, big hearted, charitable.)
Brag. Please! What is some munificent thing you (or someone you know) has done for a child? I know this post is about motherhood but dads, aunt, uncles, guardians, grandparents, teachers (who have I left out? ) please tell us below about something you look back with some inkling of your greatness.
My inner spirit feels like Dharma waiting to bust out…but I’m forced to move within the confines of these things that can be seen. Didn’t I JUST describe Greg to a “T?” So, I guess I’m Greg! …but I really am more like Dharma…maybe I’m more of an evolved Greg.
I feel surrounded by and unnaturally forced to operate within the confines of calendars, clocks, schedules, the time between the sunrise and the sunset, producing something. It’s not something that is innate for me. And the moment a Saturday comes along–baby, I am on my own time!
